I Talk to the Trees

Does anybody else talk to teabags? I found myself doing so some months ago but it was a while before it struck me that perhaps it was odd.

I don't have a full scale conversation with them, you understand. I don't expect a reply. I simply offer some reassurance when a particular crisis arises.

This only applies to those teabags that are Siamese twins, the sort that are joined in the middle. For some reason, I was making tea one day and extracted a single teabag from the caddy (caddy is a rather grand word for a semi-circular, ex sweet tin with skaters on the lid). Anyway, as I blithely ripped one teabag from its twin, I suddenly imagined its scream of terror, those awful pictures you see when family members are torn apart, holding up arms in supplication to be allowed to remain together. It was at this time that I found myself saying to the bereft teabag: 'Don't worry, it will be your turn next and then you will both be reunited on the compost heap.' Every story should have a happy ending.

So far I haven't actually enunciated my thoughts out loud - that would be silly, wouldn't it? Keep your thoughts to yourself is my advice for who knows what is going on the head next to you? Probably best left in ignorance.